Taking up a challenge highlighted by a good friend over the weekend. I could see a bit of hurt that he had as he explained some of the feedback he has received from his latest project. The dissappointment when you realise that not everyone will have the same vision as you. The lack of appreciation on something that you have put your your heart and soul in. This total disrespect from those who have not the "balls" to come up with anything that could remotely expose their interests. Then Again it is true that everybody is entitled to their opinion.
I have always recognised the passion that he has for alot of different aspects of his life, from personal to (Not so much) proffessional to his hobbies. And then came the question "What would it take to get you motivated?" This is in reference to why I seldom blog. Of which I always respond with "Oh! I have writers block, am just not inspired."
Then it all downed on me ....... Is it that I have writers block? ( Because I really don't think that I am a writer) Or is it that am just lazy (Been meaning to start my book for years now........ well not much has happened in that arena). Then again could it be that I am afraid of all the negative feed back that might come my way.
I wonder where my passion went to? And then again what am I passionate about? Ist it too late for me? I mean at my age I should atleast have an Idea of what it is exactly that drives me. And as I contunually strive to find all the answers to my a million and one questions, I can only but admire those in my life with such uncannung passion about different aspects of their lives. I want that. I want people to remember my passion and contribution to the world more than anything else. I mean dont we all want to be remembered that way?
So yes, I now get what the challenge was, close my eyes and just get in there. Not everybody might "like" or appreciate your efforts, but you did it anyway. So I sure do hope that this post will be a challange to someone out there and a thank you to others who may have contributed to it.
p.s Don't ever think that your work could ever be foolish or amateur (wink)
xoxo
Monday, August 22, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
THE IDIOT RUINED MY HAIR!
Funny how I am always apologizing for my absence and lack of consistency with my blogging. Well I shall mention it no more (oops!)
Have you ever been one of those that wonder "how can one be such a *&^#*" and 5 minutes later you are just that same monster you were busy describing to a friend.
Well today was an awsome day for me up until about 3pm in the afternoon. Took care of all my errands and so had time to kill at the hair salon.
Many women usually take this time to sit and reflect. Not that the Salon environment is one that is condusive, why with all the noise and gossip, who can really focus? But the maggazines that they give you to help you pass those 2-3 hours are the ones that trigger this reflective mood.
The feeling of guilt because some individual out there has undergone soo much in life and still has the energy to move on and achieve great things.
The feeling of regret because you should have made a diffent choice in life and maybe, just maybe you would be much better off.
The feeling of failure when you realise individuals just like you maybe even younger are getting recognition and satisfaction out of their lives and you are in the middle of no where.
Then the pessimist in you comes out and you console your self thinking that all the above may be a tad bit exaggerated just so that the magazine may sell extra coppies. And by the way, do we all have to pass through persecution for success to come our way? Didnt Jesus Christ already do that for us?
As I was saying after being convinced to even do your nails and throw in a facial you expect to come out not only looking like a million bucks but feeling like one.
If my memory serves me right I did ask HIM to make sure my colour turned out right.
To my dismay THE IDIOT RUINED MY HAIR. Brown does absolutely nothing for me.
And so my otherwise perfect day was forever ruined. I have been a moody goose all day and If this is not fixed tomorro Lord Have Mercy.
xoxo
Have you ever been one of those that wonder "how can one be such a *&^#*" and 5 minutes later you are just that same monster you were busy describing to a friend.
Well today was an awsome day for me up until about 3pm in the afternoon. Took care of all my errands and so had time to kill at the hair salon.
Many women usually take this time to sit and reflect. Not that the Salon environment is one that is condusive, why with all the noise and gossip, who can really focus? But the maggazines that they give you to help you pass those 2-3 hours are the ones that trigger this reflective mood.
The feeling of guilt because some individual out there has undergone soo much in life and still has the energy to move on and achieve great things.
The feeling of regret because you should have made a diffent choice in life and maybe, just maybe you would be much better off.
The feeling of failure when you realise individuals just like you maybe even younger are getting recognition and satisfaction out of their lives and you are in the middle of no where.
Then the pessimist in you comes out and you console your self thinking that all the above may be a tad bit exaggerated just so that the magazine may sell extra coppies. And by the way, do we all have to pass through persecution for success to come our way? Didnt Jesus Christ already do that for us?
As I was saying after being convinced to even do your nails and throw in a facial you expect to come out not only looking like a million bucks but feeling like one.
If my memory serves me right I did ask HIM to make sure my colour turned out right.
To my dismay THE IDIOT RUINED MY HAIR. Brown does absolutely nothing for me.
And so my otherwise perfect day was forever ruined. I have been a moody goose all day and If this is not fixed tomorro Lord Have Mercy.
xoxo
Monday, April 4, 2011
IF YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE OUT A LONGTERM CAR LOAN, DONT BUY A SHORT TERM CAR
I have been struggling with this issue all my life, and so has a good majority of you my people;Trying to match my actions to the intended outcomes. And I must say i have not entirely been successful but am sure there has got to be something positive that has come out of it all.
I have always been one who writes from my own life experiences, and I really do try to rationalize a situation before i put down my thoughts, That unfortunately doesn't go so well when it comes to me thinking before I speak ( i promise that i am working on that vehemently)
This year has been quite the challenge, and a lot has changed in my life that I feel as though i have lost a bit of control. Its that annoying feeling you get when you have no idea on how to fix a PROBLEM.
We all are managers to some sort of degree. I always considered myself a tough, Get it together and fix it kind. Reality of this is that I am the only one who wins and my "people" lose. So what does this mean?? I try be the nice, supportive, participatory type??Problem with this is that I lose and my "people" win. What then is the correct mix???
I must put it to you though that a PROBLEM only exists if there is a difference between what is actually happening and what YOU desire to happen. If YOU cannot identify what you would like to happen, then you don't have a problem YET you're just complaining.
Embrace the saying that goes "mind your own business" (It is a saying right??) and this is actually I believe the Key to being a very successful mix, "TOUGH IN A NICE WAY".
Therefore what is the point to all this? "Help people reach their full potential, Catch them doing something right"
See you next update
xoxo
I have always been one who writes from my own life experiences, and I really do try to rationalize a situation before i put down my thoughts, That unfortunately doesn't go so well when it comes to me thinking before I speak ( i promise that i am working on that vehemently)
This year has been quite the challenge, and a lot has changed in my life that I feel as though i have lost a bit of control. Its that annoying feeling you get when you have no idea on how to fix a PROBLEM.
We all are managers to some sort of degree. I always considered myself a tough, Get it together and fix it kind. Reality of this is that I am the only one who wins and my "people" lose. So what does this mean?? I try be the nice, supportive, participatory type??Problem with this is that I lose and my "people" win. What then is the correct mix???
I must put it to you though that a PROBLEM only exists if there is a difference between what is actually happening and what YOU desire to happen. If YOU cannot identify what you would like to happen, then you don't have a problem YET you're just complaining.
Embrace the saying that goes "mind your own business" (It is a saying right??) and this is actually I believe the Key to being a very successful mix, "TOUGH IN A NICE WAY".
Therefore what is the point to all this? "Help people reach their full potential, Catch them doing something right"
See you next update
xoxo
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
LETTER TO MY BEST FRIEND
When was the last time you wrote a letter???
I remeber the hours I would spend trying to put words that would excite my highschool boyfriend and the 10min it would take for me to jot down the millions of complains that I had about my hardknock life in highschool.
Then technology hit and well it all went downhill from there.
So not too long ago (Last year), I read a blog from one of my favourite bloggers and she had decided to start writting letters to crtain Individuals who have made an impact in her life (positive or negative). With all the enthusiasm on earth I decided that I shall also join her in her journey. But by now as you all know that somehow that fell on the side way. But now '' I have pulled my socks up '' and its now or never.
....................................................................................................................................
Dear Friend,
I dont think that time is much of a factor when it comes to quantify a friendship, not that you can anyway, but actions.
The experiences that we have shared in the time that we have known each other is priceless and I wish you could see the smile i have on my face as I am writting this.
I giggle when I remember of the mischief we have been upto, the smiles, the silent fights, the laughter, the loves, success and failures.
You have tought me to appreciate the differences in others and through you i know what patience is. Believe me I am quite aware of my self and how ''slightly in ur face'' I might get, and I am aware that you love me.
Words cannot begin to thank you, and appreciate all the experiences that we share.
Memories we have created will last me my lifetime and all I have to say is I LOVE YOU.
yours S.
xoxo
................................................................................................................................................
I remeber the hours I would spend trying to put words that would excite my highschool boyfriend and the 10min it would take for me to jot down the millions of complains that I had about my hardknock life in highschool.
Then technology hit and well it all went downhill from there.
So not too long ago (Last year), I read a blog from one of my favourite bloggers and she had decided to start writting letters to crtain Individuals who have made an impact in her life (positive or negative). With all the enthusiasm on earth I decided that I shall also join her in her journey. But by now as you all know that somehow that fell on the side way. But now '' I have pulled my socks up '' and its now or never.
....................................................................................................................................
Dear Friend,
I dont think that time is much of a factor when it comes to quantify a friendship, not that you can anyway, but actions.
The experiences that we have shared in the time that we have known each other is priceless and I wish you could see the smile i have on my face as I am writting this.
I giggle when I remember of the mischief we have been upto, the smiles, the silent fights, the laughter, the loves, success and failures.
You have tought me to appreciate the differences in others and through you i know what patience is. Believe me I am quite aware of my self and how ''slightly in ur face'' I might get, and I am aware that you love me.
Words cannot begin to thank you, and appreciate all the experiences that we share.
Memories we have created will last me my lifetime and all I have to say is I LOVE YOU.
yours S.
xoxo
................................................................................................................................................
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
CHAMPAGNE AND CAVIAR
I suffer from a very serious case of procrastination.....I have been wanting to write about this for so long but just couldn't get myself to do it. Better late than never I guess..
Then again this might actually be the right time to do it, i mean after I have calmed down and all. Lets not forget I am still bitter (working on it though).
For the past 3months i have been angry, at what? Well lets see.... the world, myself, my friends and basically a few of the people that i trusted.
As much as that may seem cowardly I belive that I do have the right to be angry. No human being can posibbly be on such high spirits without a once in a while backslide.
I will compare my life at this moment like that of a recovering alcoholic. I have Good SRAIGHT days and then comes the times when my weak willed self throws me back into the "Dark times".
If you are to ask anyone who is accuainted (No one really knows me) with me who I was they would probably let you in on this happy go lucky free spirited Individual.
I tell you that is not me, i am a compulsive , Obsessive , need to be in control insecure being just like ''wanjiku'' looking for approval and guidance.
It is only this honest look at myself that could explain the fall that subsequently led to this state of mind the past 3 months.
OOhh!! how I long for the day i will be what others see...... a notion I am aware I share with many out there.
I suffred what seemed to be the biggest failure and humiliation of my life; the realization that I had been dreaming and leaving a lie.
The sleepless nights, the near suicidal moments (too much of a coward though to go through with it) and the endless counseling from peers and family.
Life sure has a way of slowing us down, and I believe I might have had it all too much in my head and was sprinting during a full marathon (even God knew i wasn't going to finish that race).
This is my APOLOGY to all who spend there time trying to ''fix'' me, I chose to associate with catfish and beer COMPLETELY UNDERMINING YOUR EFFORTS.
Funny how you can expose individuals to champagne and caviar and their pallets still crave catfish and beer.
I have hopefully said my peace after the tears.
xoxo
Then again this might actually be the right time to do it, i mean after I have calmed down and all. Lets not forget I am still bitter (working on it though).
For the past 3months i have been angry, at what? Well lets see.... the world, myself, my friends and basically a few of the people that i trusted.
As much as that may seem cowardly I belive that I do have the right to be angry. No human being can posibbly be on such high spirits without a once in a while backslide.
I will compare my life at this moment like that of a recovering alcoholic. I have Good SRAIGHT days and then comes the times when my weak willed self throws me back into the "Dark times".
If you are to ask anyone who is accuainted (No one really knows me) with me who I was they would probably let you in on this happy go lucky free spirited Individual.
I tell you that is not me, i am a compulsive , Obsessive , need to be in control insecure being just like ''wanjiku'' looking for approval and guidance.
It is only this honest look at myself that could explain the fall that subsequently led to this state of mind the past 3 months.
OOhh!! how I long for the day i will be what others see...... a notion I am aware I share with many out there.
I suffred what seemed to be the biggest failure and humiliation of my life; the realization that I had been dreaming and leaving a lie.
The sleepless nights, the near suicidal moments (too much of a coward though to go through with it) and the endless counseling from peers and family.
Life sure has a way of slowing us down, and I believe I might have had it all too much in my head and was sprinting during a full marathon (even God knew i wasn't going to finish that race).
This is my APOLOGY to all who spend there time trying to ''fix'' me, I chose to associate with catfish and beer COMPLETELY UNDERMINING YOUR EFFORTS.
Funny how you can expose individuals to champagne and caviar and their pallets still crave catfish and beer.
I have hopefully said my peace after the tears.
xoxo
Thursday, December 16, 2010
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
I just met the most exhausted man i have seen in my life. Am still in shock and his image is permanently embedded in my head. The look of ''OH! FUCK! please tell you got something for me''.
(exhausted is the only word that was going through my head)
I am shaking at the thought of all the problems he might possibly have gone through and that he already has.
Hesbon. Thats his name.
Hasn't rained in Nairobi for a couple of days, but he looked like he was in the middle of a mudslide. But then again am assuming that he comes from the city (or even its environs).......my apologies.
Had a bad mood all day. who am i kidding this whole month has just been bad mood month.
And as Hesbon entered didn't even bother to raise my head in recognition and what greeted him was a blunt ''SEMA?'' ( I felt like such a 'public servant' )
Am sure Hesbon could read the Pity written all over my face and that I can bet disgusted him. How many times, I wonder . does he get the same look.??
Unfortunately I had nothing for him.
Just that encounter showed me that I have nothing to be sad about.
So this individual took my heart and run it over, backed up and run it over again just to make sure that am down. Such a pity that i let this actually happen, so should I compare myself with Hesbon??
Pathetic to do so, and despite my foul mood i actually do have a smile on my face. Not that am happy because there people out there who may be worse off than me....... but somewhat YES am happy that my ''problems'' are just but a droplet in the ocean.
If you think about it... maybe that is a sign that greater debuckles are set along my path.
Then again i could be mistaken about his demeanor, maybe he is just old and still enjoys working.
I highly doubt it though.
funny how the most ''insignificant'' of all creatures make the biggest impact on our lives'' NGOIRI MUNGAI
XOXO
(exhausted is the only word that was going through my head)
I am shaking at the thought of all the problems he might possibly have gone through and that he already has.
Hesbon. Thats his name.
Hasn't rained in Nairobi for a couple of days, but he looked like he was in the middle of a mudslide. But then again am assuming that he comes from the city (or even its environs).......my apologies.
Had a bad mood all day. who am i kidding this whole month has just been bad mood month.
And as Hesbon entered didn't even bother to raise my head in recognition and what greeted him was a blunt ''SEMA?'' ( I felt like such a 'public servant' )
Am sure Hesbon could read the Pity written all over my face and that I can bet disgusted him. How many times, I wonder . does he get the same look.??
Unfortunately I had nothing for him.
Just that encounter showed me that I have nothing to be sad about.
So this individual took my heart and run it over, backed up and run it over again just to make sure that am down. Such a pity that i let this actually happen, so should I compare myself with Hesbon??
Pathetic to do so, and despite my foul mood i actually do have a smile on my face. Not that am happy because there people out there who may be worse off than me....... but somewhat YES am happy that my ''problems'' are just but a droplet in the ocean.
If you think about it... maybe that is a sign that greater debuckles are set along my path.
Then again i could be mistaken about his demeanor, maybe he is just old and still enjoys working.
I highly doubt it though.
funny how the most ''insignificant'' of all creatures make the biggest impact on our lives'' NGOIRI MUNGAI
XOXO
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
ITS BEEN A WHILE
Wow! Haven't done this in a while and am actually full of guilt.
Last i was here was in April (#hiding face), I wonder why??
Who am i kidding, So I sort of lost myself there for a while .... this happens to the best of us by the way.
Alot has happened and its unfortunate that I did not share with you all my high's and lows........RELAX.........
Well in a nutshell its been a good year, the laughs the tears and all that other nonsense that comes along with it.
( I know that aint much help but oh well trying to depersonalize my blog, maybe i should think of writing about politics , sports , entertainment *DEAD*)
I am actually very exited about being back and cant wait "to hang out" ( so they say)
xoxoxo
see you next blog
Last i was here was in April (#hiding face), I wonder why??
Who am i kidding, So I sort of lost myself there for a while .... this happens to the best of us by the way.
Alot has happened and its unfortunate that I did not share with you all my high's and lows........RELAX.........
Well in a nutshell its been a good year, the laughs the tears and all that other nonsense that comes along with it.
( I know that aint much help but oh well trying to depersonalize my blog, maybe i should think of writing about politics , sports , entertainment *DEAD*)
I am actually very exited about being back and cant wait "to hang out" ( so they say)
xoxoxo
see you next blog
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